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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123
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  • Number of visits : 353
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44486) - you deserved it (3069)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

#20592535
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (4322)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57783) - you deserved it (3130)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

#20591958
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42777) - you deserved it (3563)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (3339)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (14735)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33493) - you deserved it (7612)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (4781)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47401) - you deserved it (5713)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (4148)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34415) - you deserved it (16709)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22599) - you deserved it (14598)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (2552)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (1516)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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