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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123

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  • Number of visits : 4432
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:23am<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:36pm<b>foxykz</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:32pm

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46199) - you deserved it (2496)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (16194)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41659) - you deserved it (7860)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (9483)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (4680)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (8701)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45256) - you deserved it (2782)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

#21247278
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (2886)

On 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35488) - you deserved it (6398)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (41444)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (35440)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML



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