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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123

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  • Number of visits : 4398
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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achillesJC123's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:23am<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:36pm<b>foxykz</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:32pm

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (4329)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47531) - you deserved it (8747)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (5048)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49410) - you deserved it (40418)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45463) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

#20825844
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (5151)

On 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe (woman) - Sweden

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56111) - you deserved it (4915)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53389) - you deserved it (7006)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have an orthodontist's appointment, and I told my best friend that I was going to get my teeth fixed. She replied, "Wow, thanks. Your smile's really awful to have to look at." FML

#20825319
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41309) - you deserved it (3953)

On 08/07/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Bethany - United States

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

#20825248
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (4398)

On 08/07/2013 at 8:24am - misc - by noiguessitsbroken :( (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (15777)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (13896)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47971) - you deserved it (23077)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55735) - you deserved it (4622)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57637) - you deserved it (4392)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States



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