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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123

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  • Number of visits : 10205
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - 23 minutes ago<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:36am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:19pm<b>rieebee</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:56pm<b>FmyL6</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:23am<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:36pm<b>foxykz</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:32pm

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17307) - you deserved it (32333)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (2011)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (4715)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146) - you deserved it (2526)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (3862)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wasn't really bedridden sick on Valentine's Day. A Super Smash Bros game date with his friends was just more important. FML

#21358314
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83) - you deserved it (4908)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm - love - by superscript - United States (Washington)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (5544)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32950) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

#21323615
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (2603)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:48pm - money - by evil Santa - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35366) - you deserved it (6543)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (2222)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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