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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43862) - you deserved it (1654)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (4392)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51360) - you deserved it (3349)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48220) - you deserved it (3371)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (62324)
On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46413) - you deserved it (3514)
On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (9251)
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (36912)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37071) - you deserved it (2910)
On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48597) - you deserved it (5699)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (15925)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (9802)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55886) - you deserved it (2588)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17535) - you deserved it (45037)
On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 17 June 2013
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