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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123
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  • Number of visits : 346
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40371) - you deserved it (5595)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (6598)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (2191)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (4124)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (21509)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (16815)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (5641)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40703) - you deserved it (2933)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41526) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36058) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33856) - you deserved it (9463)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (11416)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (4223)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)



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