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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:35am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:36am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:19pm<b>rieebee</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:56pm<b>FmyL6</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:23am<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:36pm<b>foxykz</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:32pm

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (5544)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (1901)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3827)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML

#21410882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32245) - you deserved it (4884)

On 05/16/2015 at 7:47am - animals - by yif2 (woman) - United States

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (1998)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (2558)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (6995)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33327) - you deserved it (2722)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (6740)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

#21406668
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (1809)

On 05/08/2015 at 8:46am - misc - by MedChew (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

#21406510
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2632)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:23pm - animals - by MyNameIsNotJeff (man) - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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