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achillesJC123

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achillesJC123

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  • Number of visits : 4894
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>FmyL6</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:23am<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:36pm<b>foxykz</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:32pm

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achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (7217)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (3145)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (6206)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (2308)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32419) - you deserved it (2231)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (28355)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42592) - you deserved it (3795)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (3398)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (2603)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (21116)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (3609)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (7786)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (4960)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (11560)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)



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