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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4786
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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acetl87's page activity

Visits<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:47pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:12pm<b>uarudeassbitchyo</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:01am<b>jcross01</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:42pm<b>ewang_</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:24am<b>TraceCase_</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:05am<b>dre82</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:30am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:41am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>pompomkiwi</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:56am<b>FracturedMinds</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>muzy</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:17pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 5:20pm<b>sugarbooboo63</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:30am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Mcculln82</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:25pm

acetl87's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of acetl87's badges

acetl87's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

by sdeeter / 04/29/2013 at 9:39am / United States / Work

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

by Beth / 04/28/2013 at 9:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

by pantydropper / 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

by hejdixjeln / 03/17/2013 at 6:25am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm / United States / Health

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 11:35am / United States / Work

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:08am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Intimacy