Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

acetl87

Search for a member

acetl87

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2181
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

acetl87's page activity

Visits<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:47pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:12pm<b>uarudeassbitchyo</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:01am<b>jcross01</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:42pm<b>ewang_</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:24am<b>TraceCase_</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:05am<b>dre82</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:30am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:41am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>pompomkiwi</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:56am<b>FracturedMinds</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>muzy</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:17pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 5:20pm<b>sugarbooboo63</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:30am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Mcculln82</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:25pm

acetl87's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of acetl87's badges

acetl87's favorite FMLs

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44311) - you deserved it (32411) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51716) - you deserved it (3549)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99641) - you deserved it (11631)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (68229)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

#20715456
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45479) - you deserved it (13561)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56995) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60994) - you deserved it (13821)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59058) - you deserved it (5780)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56764) - you deserved it (7301)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59768) - you deserved it (4055)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (4442)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86671) - you deserved it (5478)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (68024)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48420) - you deserved it (5168)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69955) - you deserved it (7861)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: