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acetl87

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acetl87

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1765
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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acetl87's page activity

Visits<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:47pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:12pm<b>uarudeassbitchyo</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:01am<b>jcross01</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:42pm<b>ewang_</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:24am<b>TraceCase_</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:05am<b>dre82</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:30am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:41am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>pompomkiwi</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:56am<b>FracturedMinds</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>muzy</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:17pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 5:20pm<b>sugarbooboo63</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:30am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Mcculln82</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:25pm

acetl87's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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acetl87's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (4883)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50136) - you deserved it (4438)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48443) - you deserved it (4898)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

#20820283
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41668) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by no, don't save me or nothing (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60414) - you deserved it (5942)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48585) - you deserved it (4919)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58845) - you deserved it (7474)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44778) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56042) - you deserved it (11953)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60215) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41619) - you deserved it (9007)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (7782)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52015) - you deserved it (4355)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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