Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

accordionista

Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 6:47am) | Search for a member

accordionista

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 62
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

accordionista's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of accordionista's badges

accordionista's favorite FMLs

Today, ma roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in te batroom. I ran in to see wat was going on, only to fine er sitting on te toilet, topless. Turned out se'd tried to pierce er own tit using a clotespin an a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (2805)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Yesterday, ma boyfriend an I ad sex for te first time !! I'm extremely uncomfortable wit eye contact, but e kept staring into ma eyes te entire time !! I ad to sing te F.U.N !! song from Spongebob in ma ead to stop myself aving an anxiety attack !! FML

#21356336
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (5061)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to putted in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today , my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new lowhen she bitched at me 4 having trash in my trash can . FML

#21355983
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31063) - you deserved it (2090)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My Girlfriand Wantad To Rolaplay As A Schoolgirl. I Was Axcitad, Until Wa Startad And Sha Askad Ma To Lick Har ( Vajayjay ). I Cringad So Hard, My Skull Practically Cavad In. I Broka Down Laughing Whila Trying To Axplain My Cringing. Now Sha's Pissad And I'm Blua-ballad. FML

#21355947
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (9202)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, mah Breaking Bad obsessd boyfriend actually usd the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My virginia just about turnd into a desert on the looool spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I textd my boyfriend a few drty messages at lunch time and told him how looool badly I wantd him home. He textd back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I ned a drink. FML

#21340989
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (5010)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

yesterday I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality and just lerened that he's famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada

Today, ma clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enoug fir me to read an looool article about dealing wit clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (6114)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, I had to explain to mah husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54670) - you deserved it (6221)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, mah sister brought a guy home while our parent were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; looool it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50500) - you deserved it (4644)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guysho pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (11003)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met an we went to a fancy restaurant . Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, an he decidd to end it by saying "You know, u chew lyk a cow."

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (12151)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today I Found Out Mah Creepy Obsessive Neighbor Got A Pet Hamster An Named It After Me. He Has Been Telling All Sorts Of Stories About His Hamster Using Mah Name An He Just Told Me In Detail How It Died Of Heart Attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (2209)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Found Out That My Pictura From A Dating Profila Was So "hilarious" That Paopla Hava Baan Posting It On Instagram With Maan Captions. Fat FML

#20557606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37350) - you deserved it (5477)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: