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Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you totally deserved it (36615)
On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67808) - you totally deserved it (25118)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50487) - you totally deserved it (5192)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71482) - you totally deserved it (3838)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and i told the waiter I'll have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, " Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44966) - you totally deserved it (5138)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140145) - you totally deserved it (6811)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (385476) - you totally deserved it (67580)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you totally deserved it (9660)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50348) - you totally deserved it (1565)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87811) - you totally deserved it (15613)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you totally deserved it (1639)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:12am - love - by robotzzz (man) - France (Ile-de-France)
Today during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg (several times) under the table with his bare foot. WTF??? FML
I agree, your life sucks (16553) - you totally deserved it (591)
On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - France (Ile-de-France)
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