Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

absolutemaze

Search for a member

absolutemaze

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

absolutemaze's page activity

Visits<b>Denny1</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:17pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 3:31pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 10:22pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 10:35am

absolutemaze's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

absolutemaze's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50465) - you deserved it (10841)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

#19008453
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (4166)

On 02/06/2012 at 5:08am - love - by Madzison (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML

#18989889
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (2358)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by lrgenesis - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (5013)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (2705)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (4998)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33681) - you deserved it (6959)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35636) - you deserved it (3923)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (43189)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (3789)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67100) - you deserved it (39329)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94461) - you deserved it (19965)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: