aback

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aback

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 158416
  • Number of comments : 2175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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aback's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - yesterday at 6:41am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - yesterday at 8:56pm<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 11:34pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 11:57pm<b>ILA215</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 12:30am<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 4:28pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 12:20pm<b>potatocouch</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 2:28pm<b>withered</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 3:07am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 12:23am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:23pm<b>GeorgeThatDude</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:46am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:51pm<b>PumaGator</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:39pm<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 4:42pm<b>Jlee0110</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 5:15pm<b>el_bell3618</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:17pm<b>anonyferret</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 7:02am

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 6:20pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:20pm<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:05pm<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 3:31pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:35am<b>LordGiblett</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 12:53am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:10pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:36pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:22am<b>grajax</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:56am

aback's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of aback's badges

aback's favorite FMLs

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

by Tootie / 07/30/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

by taydean / 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

by oww / 04/05/2011 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love