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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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aback

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aback
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 150597
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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aback's last visitors

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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aback's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (1104) - you deserved it (10371)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (5679) - you deserved it (1870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (5968) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (4738) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (1579) - you deserved it (6861)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7856) - you deserved it (1433)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (3647) - you deserved it (5367)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (776)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML

#18872855 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (2835) - you deserved it (6403)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at out local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (6740) - you deserved it (1288)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

#18726895 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (3153) - you deserved it (6937)

On 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Mexico (Zacatecas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (11206) - you deserved it (1341) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (9660) - you deserved it (2471)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (5469)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7596) - you deserved it (1095)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)