aardvarks

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aardvarks

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2291
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About aardvarks : My name's Andrea.
Message me if you want, I like making friends.

aardvarks's page activity

Visits<b>Its_My_Fault</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:47pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 2:24pm<b>mkmon7</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 10:17am<b>SlothCat</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:19pm<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 12:01am<b>Linkcism</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:30am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:53pm<b>amburrjade</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:56pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:08am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:54pm<b>horsedaz96</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:41am<b>oops6663</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:32pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:37am<b>EmilioP33</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Vagitarian1</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 2:40am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 2:21pm

aardvarks's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aardvarks's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

by hannahj88 / 10/16/2010 at 12:41am / Australia / Work

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

by Claire / 09/29/2010 at 1:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2010 at 6:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

by anon / 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

by safetyfirst / 07/14/2010 at 11:17am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

by Ashlee / 02/15/2010 at 10:21am / United States / Love

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

by grounded / 01/03/2010 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

by runescapeftw / 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love