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aardvarks

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aardvarks
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1087
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About aardvarks : My name's Andrea.
Message me if you want, I like making friends.

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aardvarks's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (9993)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15717) - you deserved it (36853)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47430) - you deserved it (3269)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (21898)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (12760)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (6133)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (18116)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (6916)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (4552)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6803) - you deserved it (15751)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

#7014156
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21529) - you deserved it (1930)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)



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