Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aardvarkish

Search for a member

aardvarkish
  • Town/Country : Santa Barbara
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10626
  • Number of comments : 2429
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About aardvarkish : My fave commenters are:
aardvarkish

Intelligent Commenters are:
(Sadly, a few are no longer with us.)
ScaryyMaryy
TheIrishJaneDoe
Freeze
Intoxicunt
LilAfo
Pendatik
MyLifeIsFable
5t3ff1k4h
sweet_candy_

Outrageous (Intelligent in their own way) Commenters I like are:
FFML_314
Perdix
DocBastard

aardvarkish's last visitors

KonainFedergirlVentiAnemoimander2124ireply_wlyricsWaspinator1998erinlindonnubbles10Garrett2818

aardvarkish's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of aardvarkish's badges

aardvarkish's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

#16778236
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (6291)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:52am - love - by anon - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (6536)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74511) - you deserved it (6151)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (8791)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35816) - you deserved it (4649)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49470) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

#16558190
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (7797)

On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (13718)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (2844)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

#16496230
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (3230)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:07am - health - by missbutthole - United States (New York)

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (14180)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49528) - you deserved it (16932)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

#16157723
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9263) - you deserved it (46752)

On 05/13/2011 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by scalmon - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

#16086182
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (4750)

On 05/08/2011 at 1:05am - love - by gnownayrgnow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (8631)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: