Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About aardvarkish : My fave commenters are:
Intelligent Commenters are:
(Sadly, a few are no longer with us.)
Outrageous (Intelligent in their own way) Commenters I like are:
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML
Thursday 10 April 2014