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Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (2277)
On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19714) - you deserved it (2037)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (2389)
On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (1501)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16422) - you deserved it (1215)
On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (2493)
On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (1902)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:46am - work - by Anonymous -
Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (5793)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (1480)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94) - you deserved it (1577)
On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25513) - you deserved it (6297)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (2664)
On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (31476)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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