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Mobility
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Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (6905)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (2169)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14685) - you deserved it (1814)
On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (2706)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (4206)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16291) - you deserved it (3582)
On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (2248)
On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (3964)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (1117)
On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (19527)
On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (4129)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14368) - you deserved it (6307)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19204) - you deserved it (1202)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Friday 24 May 2013
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