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Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (52897) - you deserved it (7562)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55270) - you deserved it (6758)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52181) - you deserved it (6808)
On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37181) - you deserved it (7292)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52761) - you deserved it (9123)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (7291)
On 04/08/2013 at 5:17am - intimacy - by dancekat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11986) - you deserved it (44724)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (6363)
On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my car got rear ended by a driver with an "I brake for squirrels" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (1356)
On 03/05/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by MoonBunny - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (4754)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (5370)
On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (4687)
On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (2101)
On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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