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a563

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a563
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1341
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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a563's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (3736)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59660) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (39184)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (39184)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22761) - you deserved it (13890)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (9285)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9587) - you deserved it (26916)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6922) - you deserved it (56036)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

#18346168
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (1814)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (7008)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States



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