About _embers : u really don't wanna know
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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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_embers's favorite FMLs
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
by nonfreehugs / 10/04/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anna / 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by notgivingup / 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
by Juiced / 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML
by orgasmsareoverratedanyway / 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm / Norway (Nordland) / Intimacy
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
by useyourownbed / 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
by painfetish8021 / 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
by SerendipityRose / 09/13/2012 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
by humorizer / 09/12/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Texas) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…