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_embers

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_embers

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About _embers : u really don't wanna know

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_embers's favorite FMLs

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (2043)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (1722)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34686) - you deserved it (4741)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (3831)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (2358)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (1577)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (5138)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26593) - you deserved it (4204)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (2818)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (4569)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

#20077937
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (2004)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (3775)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23530) - you deserved it (1935)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML



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