Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_alyssa_13

Search for a member

_alyssa_13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 175
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

_alyssa_13's page activity

Visits<b>chargers2588</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:40pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:29pm<b>brave_josh</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:51pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:44pm<b>_DoubleJ_</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:49pm<b>Katty_Arreola</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 10:32am<b>b0red</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 10:21am<b>DDCA</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:42am<b>StreetRacer0073</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:41am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:33pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:55pm<b>killuminatirebel</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:35am<b>smc3106</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:34pm<b>JudgeJago</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:20pm<b>uptown_16</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:24pm<b>pderrico20</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 2:38pm<b>AngledView</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:41pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 12:18pm

_alyssa_13's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of _alyssa_13's badges

_alyssa_13's favorite FMLs

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47665) - you deserved it (3254)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50801) - you deserved it (4006)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73040) - you deserved it (7223)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47938) - you deserved it (10771)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45466) - you deserved it (7719)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47562) - you deserved it (6235)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47270) - you deserved it (4992)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80698) - you deserved it (11162)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (65617)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60863) - you deserved it (7628)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72682) - you deserved it (5804)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82187) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65706) - you deserved it (18728)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65951) - you deserved it (3583)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: