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_Gunslinger_'s FML badges
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_Gunslinger_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML
by omgomgomg / 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 3:54pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
by The fat and the ugly / 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by unlucky / 10/27/2011 at 4:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML
by apparentlyunsexy / 10/27/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML
by nekogirl15 / 10/26/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
by krystal / 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
by lanikai610 / 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…