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Zwink

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Zwink

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13369
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Zwink's page activity

Visits<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 10:22pm<b>como_un_jefe</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 11:35pm<b>judgeymcjudge</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 6:16am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 7:41pm<b>Jazzywrites007</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 2:34pm<b>mishy0729</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 6:47pm<b>lmmmr</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 4:24pm<b>Ebisumaru</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 1:22am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:57pm<b>pnkpanther</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 12:45am<b>nofriends1989</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 11:18pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 10:01pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 9:31pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 7:23pm<b>Leprecon</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 5:45pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 12:56am

Zwink's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Zwink's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47527) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57497) - you deserved it (14840)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

#2427031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38841) - you deserved it (7829)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:39am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
635 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (262714)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17704) - you deserved it (61211)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52893) - you deserved it (11813)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85896) - you deserved it (7138)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

#724794
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (29845)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77251) - you deserved it (160443)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

#661204
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (32474)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by enriquegay (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

#651066
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (71329)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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