About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27878) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (2895)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32447) - you deserved it (7238)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (6179)
On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (3775)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (11765)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15572) - you deserved it (1437)
On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (42206)
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (2390)
On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11455) - you deserved it (14261)
On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)
Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18013) - you deserved it (6929)
On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (4004)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (406)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (3896)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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