About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20305) - you deserved it (2454) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16498) - you deserved it (23918)
On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10936) - you deserved it (43679)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (4574)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you deserved it (2995)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (28376)
Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (3027)
On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)
Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (3027)
On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)
Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (3027)
On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1908)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (15816)
On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (21284)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (21284)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40333) - you deserved it (1581)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (4488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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