Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomg_Okay

Online | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5049
  • Number of comments : 1109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - 18 hours ago<b>murphy30011</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:40pm<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:22am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:54pm<b>jag0025</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>greenbucket</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:55pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:40pm<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:21pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:50pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:16pm<b>b_d_hill</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:23pm<b>Davids9199</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:04pm<b>supawoman</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:17pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:47am<b>fboy1588</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:24pm<b>PinkasaurusRex</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Psybacon1501</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:16pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (1714)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

#20398760
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (2032)

On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (5057)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (3397)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18334) - you deserved it (6865)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you deserved it (32234)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (1513)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (4285)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

#20162223
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (29323)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (1947)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26155) - you deserved it (2140)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (3507)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28910) - you deserved it (2806)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: