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Zomg_Okay

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Zomg_Okay
  • Town/Country : Cork, Republic of Ireland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3794
  • Number of comments : 1088
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46595) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (58241)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (5353)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (5220)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57030) - you deserved it (6359)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40214) - you deserved it (4657)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (4893)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (20774)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42471) - you deserved it (9813)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (19637)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40654) - you deserved it (5748)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44595) - you deserved it (6514)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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