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Zomg_Okay

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Zomg_Okay

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6223
  • Number of comments : 1128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:09pm<b>PSYqualiac</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:35am<b>MsMarti</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:15am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:11am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:09pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:40am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:02am<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:38am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:42pm<b>ThisSummer</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:48am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>murphy30011</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:40pm<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:22am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:54pm<b>jag0025</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44322) - you deserved it (19885)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (41371)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36584) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55183) - you deserved it (5824)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55901) - you deserved it (12488)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (3378)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51196) - you deserved it (5316)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (8608)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (6624)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36551) - you deserved it (8694)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (8287)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (4866)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States



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