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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
by Annon / 11/26/2011 at 6:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
by bonertoolong / 11/23/2011 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by OCDrunk / 11/23/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by ughh / 11/22/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Health
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States / Love
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
by John / 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work
Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML
by TheFlickChick / 11/17/2011 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…