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Zomg_Okay

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Zomg_Okay

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5742
  • Number of comments : 1119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11923) - you deserved it (56282)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (3279)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

#18324094
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15357) - you deserved it (20435)

On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (9033)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30180) - you deserved it (5250)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (3126)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

#18315280
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (5298)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34344) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (5856)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

#18289031
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (4609)

On 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by John (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (4744)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (18854)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12534) - you deserved it (56876)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39069) - you deserved it (7740)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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