About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (5849)
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9303) - you deserved it (34688)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (8361)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (17459)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17874) - you deserved it (2144)
On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7267) - you deserved it (27126)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (3066)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (3563)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3860) - you deserved it (57783)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (29398)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (368)
On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (5368)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by sleepyt127 - United States (New York)
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54236) - you deserved it (10211)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (6956)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11731) - you deserved it (54925)
On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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