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Zomg_Okay

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Zomg_Okay

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5007
  • Number of comments : 1108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Zomg_Okay's page activity

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Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (2594)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (1777)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (54048) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14483) - you deserved it (34379)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (19198)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7010) - you deserved it (33161)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (3288)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (9270)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (2840)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (3228)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (9632)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (2768)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML

#18892248
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (6802)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm - kids - by gloria77 (woman) - United States



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