Zomg_Okay

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/21/2014 at 2:29am)

Zomg_Okay

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (81 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10141
  • Number of comments : 1128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>Aerobic_Exorcism</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:15am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:56pm<b>legodude28</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:25pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>elle_14221</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:22pm<b>amberdea404</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:24am<b>smeegle</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:57pm<b>BigC_from_Bama</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:51pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:17am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:01am<b>Oihana</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:45am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:16am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>fockeygirl</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:37am<b>myselfkk</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:36am

Fucked!<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:05am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:08pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

by JurassicHole / 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

by keyless / 04/14/2012 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

by gengiskarn69 / 03/12/2012 at 10:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous