Zomg_Okay

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Offline (the 12/21/2014 at 2:29am)

Zomg_Okay

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (81 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11031
  • Number of comments : 1128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>Aerobic_Exorcism</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:15am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:56pm<b>legodude28</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:25pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:05am<b>elle_14221</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:22pm<b>amberdea404</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:24am<b>smeegle</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:57pm<b>BigC_from_Bama</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:51pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:17am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:01am<b>Oihana</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:45am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:16am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>fockeygirl</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:37am<b>myselfkk</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:36am

Fucked!<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:05am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:08pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

by Damn / 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

by facepalm / 06/05/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

by Broon / 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

by Karate Kid / 05/25/2012 at 2:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

by mel / 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Work

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

by lon01t / 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids