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Zomg_Okay

Offline (the 12/21/2014 at 2:29am) | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (80 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8160
  • Number of comments : 1128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:45am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:16am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>fockeygirl</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:37am<b>myselfkk</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:36am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:59pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:57pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:51pm<b>blawho</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 10:08pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:18pm<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:09pm<b>PSYqualiac</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:35am<b>MsMarti</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:15am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:11am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:09pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:40am

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:08pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (7277)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

#19737959
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7738) - you deserved it (31285)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (2370)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29293) - you deserved it (2824) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18598) - you deserved it (2092)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

#19676942
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5328) - you deserved it (29780)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (4080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8747) - you deserved it (32314)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (2860)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9192) - you deserved it (49789)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (6192)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (2641)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (2329)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)



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