About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (4702)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (4525)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (3565)
On 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by John (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (3680)
On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States
Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (4427)
On 11/17/2011 at 2:35pm - misc - by TheFlickChick - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (16883)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9780) - you deserved it (43115)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (57468)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22397) - you deserved it (5502)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (1661)
On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (3325)
On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (40773)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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