Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomg_Okay

Online | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4732
  • Number of comments : 1100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>Psybacon1501</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:16pm<b>NothernNightmare</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:21pm<b>pasta_power</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:38pm<b>bopersonn</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:01pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:26am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:09pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:27pm<b>lizzy_r_b_94</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Maqiick</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:14pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:16am<b>Auspex</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:03am<b>pinklala15</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:05pm<b>bojh1998</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:00pm<b>straww</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Kashaqueetrah</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:18pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:34am<b>fboy1588</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:54pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (5279)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (5790)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (15474)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (26778)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

#19750799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9086) - you deserved it (33776)

On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (4566)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22906) - you deserved it (7048)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

#19737959
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (1928)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (29630)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (2306)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (2707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17760) - you deserved it (2010)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

#19676942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5254) - you deserved it (29472)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: