Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zomg_Okay

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Zomg_Okay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5257
  • Number of comments : 1112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Zomg_Okay's page activity

Visits<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:32pm<b>murphy30011</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:40pm<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:22am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:54pm<b>jag0025</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>greenbucket</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:55pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:40pm<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:21pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:50pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:16pm<b>b_d_hill</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:23pm<b>Davids9199</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:04pm<b>supawoman</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:17pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:47am<b>fboy1588</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:24pm<b>PinkasaurusRex</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Psybacon1501</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:16pm

Zomg_Okay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Zomg_Okay's badges

Zomg_Okay's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (4683)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (21607)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54405) - you deserved it (6011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49750) - you deserved it (6234)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49075) - you deserved it (17467)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45847) - you deserved it (3627)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44308) - you deserved it (5320)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48749) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37340) - you deserved it (9949)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (19841)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (41285)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: