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About Zomg_Okay : Sleeeeeepy... :(
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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2710) - you deserved it (215)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (790) - you deserved it (5372)
On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (1097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1901) - you deserved it (7378)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (585)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I discovered that my three-year-old daughter has mastered the art of pickpocketing. While I was driving to work this morning, my car broke down. I reached in my pocket to call AAA on my cell, only to find her squirt gun in its place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5112) - you deserved it (585)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1807) - you deserved it (11441)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I saw a little boy, clear as day, walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6432) - you deserved it (1839)
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12378) - you deserved it (1494)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6540) - you deserved it (546)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4964) - you deserved it (2051)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7303) - you deserved it (1130)
On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5625) - you deserved it (650)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13786) - you deserved it (2511)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1955) - you deserved it (15056)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
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