About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.
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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
by vron991 / 05/13/2012 at 1:02am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
by mikey51 / 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm / Australia / Kids
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Ashleigh / 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by JeffeeBojangles / 02/28/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Username / 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…