About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account. I don't like/want to comment, so get off my case. That's it, good day to you stalker...
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Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (1684)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (22192)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41071) - you deserved it (36315)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44460) - you deserved it (3852)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (31337)
On 01/07/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by ThisIsDCG - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (21769)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18356) - you deserved it (2093)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States
Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (18829) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16738) - you deserved it (3161)
On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27861) - you deserved it (4237)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22949) - you deserved it (1748)
On 12/25/2011 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (4284)
On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26209)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Monday 20 May 2013
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