About Zombielanddd
I've been here forever, just never had an account.
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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

By Picaresque - / Thursday 26 February 2009 17:57 / United States

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

By anonymous / Monday 13 January 2014 01:40 / United States - Upper Darby

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

By Jizzyface - / Sunday 29 December 2014 12:36 / United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

By ConfusedDad / Sunday 29 December 2014 07:01 / United States

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 28 December 2013 00:05 / New Zealand - Christchurch