About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account. I don't like/want to comment, so get off my case. That's it, good day to you stalker...
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (2592)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (1926)
On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)
Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13916) - you deserved it (24735)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2207)
On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (5026)
On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (26471)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (4062)
On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (7769)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (1407)
On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (2534)
On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (6044)
On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (2326)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26384) - you deserved it (2967)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (3700)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by hannaaaahr (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
