Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4274
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

Zombielanddd's page activity

Visits<b>noone225</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:35am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:20pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:25pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:01am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 1:02am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>diceddiamonds</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:02pm<b>pillowcases</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 5:45pm

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

by segal1010 / 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

by Jan / 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

by Puppylove / 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

by phatdaddy62 / 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous