About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.
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Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (6065)
On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (6526)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (4316)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (1047)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (2833)
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (1628)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30624) - you deserved it (664)
On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19390) - you deserved it (4101)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (1330)
On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9362) - you deserved it (35091)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (2907)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (3350)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34066) - you deserved it (3983)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (1702)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (2762)
On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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