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Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd
  • Town/Country : Loading..., America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

Zombielanddd's last visitors

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

#20691079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47832) - you deserved it (4988)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (5547)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40016) - you deserved it (23035)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43068) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (4515)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (16357)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70322) - you deserved it (3826)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (20147)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you deserved it (5515)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61836) - you deserved it (9125)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48509) - you deserved it (6508)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (66872)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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