About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.
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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm / Ireland (Cork) / Animals
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
by backtosquareone / 10/04/2011 at 1:22am / Asia/Pacific Region / Love
by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML
by hellokitty133 / 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
- Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote… Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I… Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I…