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Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd
  • Town/Country : Loading..., America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1132
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (3123)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (67993)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (68925)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (4073)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (5166)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (14179)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6922) - you deserved it (56036)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6922) - you deserved it (56036)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (10771)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27189) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (3709)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12790) - you deserved it (21716)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49685)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada



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