Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zombielanddd

Search for a member

Zombielanddd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1870
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

Zombielanddd's page activity

Visits<b>noone225</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:35am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:20pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:25pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:01am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 1:02am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>diceddiamonds</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:02pm<b>pillowcases</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 5:45pm

Zombielanddd's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Zombielanddd's badges

Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (2308)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (31355)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49229) - you deserved it (46273)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52420) - you deserved it (4467)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

#18713079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11520) - you deserved it (31358)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52311) - you deserved it (10705)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43075) - you deserved it (9125)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (2867)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (27077) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (4308)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (5327)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

#18612285
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/25/2011 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

#18609988
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (4849)

On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14578) - you deserved it (36892)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: