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Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd
  • Town/Country : Loading..., America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1137
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (22803)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (36795)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (4207)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

#18713079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10351) - you deserved it (29152)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50156) - you deserved it (10127)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41584) - you deserved it (8918)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21254) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16022) - you deserved it (24754) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17210) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

#18612285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (2287)

On 12/25/2011 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

#18609988
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)



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