About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.
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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs
by A / 02/09/2012 at 1:37am / United States / Animals
by daughterofanazi / 02/08/2012 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love
by dadadoo / 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by KDM / 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
by crybaby / 02/01/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by idrathernotgiveoutmyname / 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
by Tiana / 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
by GothicbunnyxC / 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I found out my sister is so cheap she used all the gas I put in the car to drive to the city… Today, after working 6 days a week, making well over overtime and happy for a well rested day off,… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car…