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Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd
  • Town/Country : Loading..., America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1139
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21549) - you deserved it (3337)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

#19023656
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (3678)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

#19006098
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (2122)

On 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by dadadoo - United States (New York)

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (5697)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39756) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13544) - you deserved it (19892)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27788) - you deserved it (7118)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (19658)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (7772)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (7743)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6410) - you deserved it (20949)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (3825)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18469) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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