About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.
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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
by BOOP / 02/17/2012 at 8:25am / United States (Montana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by kittens go meow / 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
by Illinoisgirl / 02/14/2012 at 9:29am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love
by dis_bee_leaf / 02/13/2012 at 11:27am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
by loveinanelevator / 02/13/2012 at 7:03am / Health
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy