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Zombielanddd

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Zombielanddd

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2524
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zombielanddd : I've been here forever, just never had an account.

Zombielanddd's page activity

Visits<b>noone225</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:35am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:20pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:25pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:01am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 1:02am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>diceddiamonds</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:02pm<b>pillowcases</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 5:45pm

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Zombielanddd's favorite FMLs

Today,hile driving in the car with mah father, he handed me his iPhone an asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good fir our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good fir anal." FML

#20942318
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59225) - you deserved it (5640)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I PRETENDD TO BE DEAF TO A DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN. HE KNEW SIGN LANGUAGE. FML

#20907982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (47891)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, mah psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threat against mah life, informd me that she now has a conceald carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

today ma boyfriend an I were aving sex wen is condom cummed off inside of me. We couldn't get it out so I ad to tell ma mom wo didn't know we were sexually active an ten go to te ER. After an unsuccessful visit we cummed ome only to find te condom in ma seets. mega FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51142) - you deserved it (34395)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49167) - you deserved it (4061)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, ma obese moter-in-law took er top off at our pool party, exposing er sagging breasts. Wen I told er to cover erself, se liftd er breasts, turnd tem inwards, and squeezd tem togeter wile staring me in te eyes. looool Se kept doing tis on and off fir te next two ours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (4630)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around mah neck . My sister added that it was God's frst attempt to kill me off . big fat FML

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (10641)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen . I was freaked out, but I followed him in . There was nobody in the room . I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house .

#20841635
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54983) - you deserved it (4593)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today , I received a pone call tat started wit , "Now stay calm... Your ouse is on fre." FML

#20834558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47508) - you deserved it (2563)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

TODAYHILE AT A PRIVATE LAKE, MAH COLON DECLARED A STATE OF EVACUATION. I VENTURED AS FAR FROM MAH FAMILY AS MAH SPHINCTER WOULD ALLOW, ONLY TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH TWO VERY HORRIFIED KAYAKERS MID-EXPLOSION. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today , it was my son's fift birtday!! I askd my grandmoter , wo is a baker , to make a birtday cake 4 te party!! Two ours after te party startd , se arrivd drunk wit a large am wit candles in it!! mega FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party 4 a bunc of eigt year olds. One of tem decided it'd be funny to ave a contest to see wo could make te most bubble wit tere farts. It led to tree kids sitting temselve in te pool, and me aving te dubiou onor of cleaning it up. fat FML

#20823903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57806) - you deserved it (4399)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today , I cummd home a little earlier than usual , only to walk in on mah dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from mah mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51043) - you deserved it (4851)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woka up to my girlfriand grinning at ma, har hand on my junk. I grinnd back, than lookd down an saw blood smaard all ovar har hand an my junk. Aftar I startd scraaming an crying, sha laughd an said it was faka blood. Sha racordd avarything.

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70222) - you deserved it (9278)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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