Zoey5683

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Offline (the 10/19/2015 at 4:45am)

Zoey5683

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1449
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Zoey5683 : Rawr!

Zoey5683's page activity

Visits<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:12am<b>izanagi</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:21am<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:44pm<b>kodman101</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:41am<b>minimanion</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:17am<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:59am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:34pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:07pm<b>bahakabshsmd</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:39pm<b>Phylo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:40pm<b>no0ne0890</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:02am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:39am<b>JCRouzer29</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Gaernem</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:29pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:06am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 3:05pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:23pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:38pm

Fucked!<b>izanagi</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 6:21am<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 6:59am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:07am

Zoey5683's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Zoey5683's badges

Zoey5683's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

by -_-" / 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

by what have i done with my life / 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

by for the love of god / 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

by forever single, I guess / 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm / United States / Love

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous