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Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42752) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47144) - you deserved it (3891)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (71479)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (12817)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54708) - you deserved it (11470)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113477) - you deserved it (6694)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113477) - you deserved it (6694)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113477) - you deserved it (6694)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113477) - you deserved it (6694)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60748) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58415) - you deserved it (2568)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60114) - you deserved it (13173)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68946) - you deserved it (16886)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (3420)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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